bombing

Bomb-a-little-guy-a-month

'96 Campaign Plan Found

by Brenda Vlad

DTP Balkan Affairs Correspondent

Washington -- (DTP) -- Clinton campaign strategists were reported to be so pleased with ratings on their Bomb Bosnia Show last year that they recommended a "Bomb-a-Little-Guy-a-Month" program as a "sure fire run up to November 1996."

The recommendation, based on extensive polling and focus group discussions inside the Beltway, was included in a secret campaign planning book accidentally left on the men's fragrance counter of a popular Bethesda department store.

The plan -- called Big Win 96 - left open to the UN to decide which "little guy" nations to bomb, but it suggested that the selection criteria include ease of access, lack of response capability, no strong allies, despicable behavior, nasty leaders, little relevance to American interests and a history of limited immigration to the United States.

Action TV photo ops involving President Clinton greeting returning pilots on windy flight decks were strongly recommended, but the suggestion that he appear in Franklin Roosevelt's old capes was "to be discouraged at least for the present."

"Obviously, we should look for trouble spots where all Americans can feel righteous while enjoying watching our tax dollars go into stirring action every night in prime time," the plan said.

The Big Win 96 plan recommended as possible targets Iceland, Belize and Andorra. It suggested that special consideration should be given to targeting Somalia, Rwanda and possibly remote parts of Iraq "as long as we can avoid casualties.".

"Both Somalia and Rwanda neatly fit our "nothing countries" criteria and we pick up an added bonus because President Clinton's last involvement with them was less than stellar," Big Win 96 said. "Also, If we start getting any bad signals out of Haiti, we should put those ingrates on top of the list."

Big Win 96 recommended that targets need not be just places off-shore if polls showed poor "favorables" in the last weeks of the campaign.

"Although targeting California or Texas would probably be ill advised because of their rapid response capabilities, a demonstration bombing of a small state like Delaware or Rhode Island could bring everyone back in line," the planners said. "Rhode Island, of course, usually goes Democratic, but we have to be ready to take some losses for the overall good."